Life IS about balance.

Life IS about balance.

I remember the day I prayed for a full and busy life. I was a single mother for the first time.  I was lonely, depressed, anxious and by that time had managed to isolate myself from most of my friends and family.  It seemed as though everyone around me had full, happy lives and were busy living.  I felt empty.  From that day on, I not only prayed, but I took action.  I worked on improving myself and attracting the life I wanted to live.

Fast forward ten years and life is very different now.  I am living a full life and I have everything I had been praying for and working towards.

But now I am stressed!  I have so much to do!  I love my life, but it takes work and I’m tired!  My daughter goes to school 35 minutes away, I homeschool my son, I work from home and between my boyfriend and I, we have 4 kids.  Life IS full and busy!

These are the thoughts that I think (and then some) that make my life more difficult than it needs to be.  I need balance.  How do I get balance?  Perspective.  I need an attitude adjustment.

The drive to take my daughter to school is at least 35 min one way.  I drop her off and pick her up.  I chose this school because it’s a great school and I want to give her the best I can.  These are the facts.  What I add to this is my attitude.  What I choose to think and feel about this situation is up to me.  I can dread the drive because it takes over two hours of my day.  I can focus on the bad drivers and be agitated and stressed.  I can, but thinking this way has proved to create misery.

     I don’t have to think that way though.  I am choosing to.  There’s another choice here.  I can shift my negative state to a positive one.  The quickest way I know how to do that is by remembering why I am doing it and shifting to a state of gratitude.  Why did I choose this school?  It’s a great school with caring adults who want to make a difference in the kid’s lives.  I get to drive on the coast and see the ocean every day!  I get to take a break from my busy work schedule.  I get to listen and sing to music!  These things bring me joy and positive energy.  It’s like fuel for my day.

How else can I bring balance into my day?  Create time to do the things that bring joy and pleasure.

When we approach each day with balance in mind, we will feel more energized and be able to accomplish what we want and need to.  Don’t be fooled into thinking or feeling that doing more things will burn you out.  If you do too much of ONE thing, you will definitely get burned out.  If you plan your day in such a way that allows you to do things you enjoy, things that relax you and things that make you happy, you will have enough energy.  How? When we do things we enjoy, it gives us energy.  When we do things we don’t want to do and dread doing, it takes energy away.

It is very easy for me to sit at my laptop for hours and work, if I don’t have any interruptions.  I have been known to work myself sick, literally.  To create balance, I need to create my own interruptions.  I CAN sit here and work for hours, but not without consequence.  I will get my work completed and have more time to do more work, but my body will make sure I know this is not okay.  It tells me through aches and pains that I am not taking care of myself (eat well, drink water, exercise…etc).   This brings me misery by taking energy away.  It triggers my depression and anxiety.  This isn’t the way I want to live.

How can I add balance to my work day?  Create positive interruptions.  Take breaks to do something active, even if it’s just running in place for five minutes next to my work area.  I like doing laundry while I work because it forces me to get up to switch the laundry over, put it away…etc.  Taking time out to tend to my family can be seen as a burden or it can be seen as something that gives me pleasure and a break from work.  I get to choose.

Do not forget about your passions, your purpose.  Do you know what these are?  If you don’t know what your purpose is, pay attention to where your mind goes when you are day dreaming.  When you feel inspired, what are you inspired to do?  Listen to yourself.  You know the answers.  Meditate, pray, exercise…etc.  It will come to you.  These things give you the ultimate energy.

But even above all that, there are some tasks that we just DON’T WANT TO DO.  If we can find enjoyment in those things or people we don’t want to deal with, we can completely change our reality.  Find the enjoyment in the things you don’t want to do.  When you can learn to do that, you will absolutely find that you can turn any task you dread into a task that you enjoy.  You transform the tasks that take energy from you into tasks that give you energy.

There are also some people we just don’t want to deal with.  Sometimes we have to deal with these people for work or maybe they are part of our family.  When we focus on why we like someone (focus on their strengths), we can actually begin to enjoy that person.   We can transform interactions with people who normally drain us into interactions that give us energy. 

It’s not the task or person that gives or takes energy from us, it’s how we handle  and respond to them that makes the difference.  If we can make every situation be one that gives energy instead of takes, we will have enough time and energy to get through each day getting done everything we want to accomplish.

When you are feeling stressed, try telling yourself “I am balanced.” This will put you in a state to GET balanced.  Don’t tell yourself what you are not.  Acting as if you already are balanced will create the state of mind you need to get there. 

Ask yourself these questions:

1.  What is stressing me out right now? 

2.  How can I change my thoughts and feelings about this situation to make it a positive experience?

3.  What can I add into my day that will bring me joy?

Keeping a Balance Journal may be necessary in the beginning until it becomes a habit.  The more you practice, the easier it will become. 

“Practice makes the master. By doing your best over and over, you can master the art of transformation.” don Miguel Ruiz

<3 Leticia Rae

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