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When they want a fight, do NOT give it to them.

When they want a fight, do NOT give it to them.

When someone wants a fight, we can almost always guarantee that it doesn’t matter what we do, they will have their fight and it will be with whoever engages.  

And that’s the key.  Do NOT engage!

We can even try the old “go with the flow” approach and give them what they want, but recently I have learned that even then, they will still fight!  

There’s no making them happy, so don’t even try.

So, what do we do at this point?  

See it for what it is.

It’s their issue.  It's best to not take their behavior personally because it doesn’t have anything to do with us.  It’s their fight with themselves. 

Take personal responsibility.

When we take personal responsibility and choose a peaceful response, we defuse the situation.  We can be at peace knowing that we did not add fuel to the fire.

Step back.

Step aside and let them face themselves, because when we react to them, they don’t have to look at their behavior.  Their focus then is on us and how we are behaving.  Allow them enough space to see.  They may or may not come to their sense.

Set boundaries.  

Let them know it’s not okay and then no longer participate.  

Let it go.

Cut the emotional attachment.  Walk away.  Stop texting back.  Hang up the phone.  Pray for them.  Send them loving, compassionate, healing energy.

Easier said than done? 

It takes practice.

When we make a mistake and engage, and we will, we accept it, we forgive ourselves and we forgive them.  

Why Forgive?

Because life's too short to be angry and bitter all the time.  We all make mistakes and we forgive because we want to be forgiven.

Our power is in how we process, perceive and respond to the situation.  We get to choose and when someone wants a fight, we can choose NOT to give it to them.

Sending Love,


Laguna Mountain, California

Laguna Mountain, California